


Like Dominos

by godzillante



Category: OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes
Genre: Aged Up, M/M, Pining, blah blah blah, er should i say one sided radnid too, for an au that would take ages to write in full, k - Freeform, lol, one sided (for now bitches lol), post radnid mentions, this is a lot of world building
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-05-21 07:03:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14910639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/godzillante/pseuds/godzillante
Summary: "In your quiet little speech you mentioned to me how much I meant to you as your friend. Not only had I been there for you in the past few years alone, but I'd always been supportive of you since the day we'd met. You told me even if none of it was true, to which I shook my aching head with a smile and denied it, the constant words of encouragement and my naivety to your dumb ramblings made you realize in time that you didn't need to lie to me anymore. No matter what you fed to me, I'd believe it.It's dumb now knowing my stupidity was part of your growth, but at the same time, it made you honest. You stopped trying so hard around me. Your barriers fell and you brought me in with open arms. Because you needed the support. My support."





	Like Dominos

**Author's Note:**

> very big au worldbuilding here. pining angst and stuff. yadda yadda. don't @ me 
> 
> anyway enjoy this cute and messy journal entry i wrote at midnight

****It was August 1st, almost a year ago, that I really started suffering.

In the parking lot, my head was on your shoulder and your keys were in your hand as you braced yourself to leave this town for the first time in years.

I was a sobbing mess and had been since the night before, when you put your hand on my cheek and told me you were gonna miss having your closest buddy around all the time. My heart was sinking. Looking up at me, grinning ear to ear, you almost seemed to be the happiest thing alive. You probably were, because as you'd mentioned over and over before, it really was time for you to get out of this tiny little plaza.

Everyone knew you would leave sometime. Never as fast as Enid, who graduated Point Prep and left with stubbornly-teary eyes to work in the force with Red at her side. I remember how bad you were at dealing with that, the sheer force that came along with realizing you'd in some sense be left alone waiting for your own chance to get away and find yourself. Well, that and you were losing your very best friend. The one who was at your side through thick and thin, even if a part of her thought you were annoying or otherwise arrogant beyond compare. In the meantime of dealing with your inevitable lose, you'd force me into the breakroom with you, pull me close and tell me I was getting tall too fast, or that I should expect the same attachment from you from there on out. You'd talk and talk and talk whilst sobbing about unspoken feelings and the wavering feeling of longing you felt even after tension was gone years ago.

I felt ashamed, because around that time I started to realize I had my own set of problems starting to muster without my knowledge. I was only fifteen, watching an angst-driven friend start life almost entirely new. It was four years ago from the time I'm writing this, and it was different then. You weren't twenty-three and living alone in the city, and I wasn't alone, angry, and in love.

In the meantime, from the day Enid left, to the day you left, you threw all your baggage onto me as a safe haven. From baggage to emotional warmth, things grew. But not in any way I's want it to.

We were close in a way that all guys would be. Best friends at the hip. Messing around and getting into trouble. I'd watch you fall in and out of relationships numerous times from the side, beating myself to the brim as I let myself urge you onto whoever you were interested in. A risk I couldn't take was not being there for you when you needed me most, even if it hurt me the most.

Because I was young, you'd never have the smallest of a thought about me. And despite my pain, I guess that has to be the most understandable thing I've gotten out of you.

But I had no reason not to like you. To value the time we had alone together, and get red-faced each time you'd need my help in the storage room or reaching something while Gar was gone.

I blamed it on Enid's absence. The thought of us all around each other again like that would begin to make me sick. She'd catch onto my feelings immediately and I'd have to face her pep talk about the harsh reality that came with my own young pining as well as your sick love. Thoughts of our friendship was a stick in the mud. I'd cry and cry about the past, and how much of these things were my fault, just to prove to myself there would've been a way for things to be different.

When you left last year, all those thoughts came back again. That morning at 7 I arrived with a grin only to remember it was your big day. The sun was shining lighter than it should have been, cast upon your face as you chatted with Mr. Gar at the sidewalk in front of the doors. When you noticed me approaching, you suddenly stopped. A grin wiped across your face.

"Hey man! I didn't think you had the energy to get up so early."

Hugging me. Holding me. You pulled away and I smiled up weakly.

"I almost forgot what day it was, I'm not that impressive."

"What good of a friend must you be, forgetting the day I finally get a new job."

I rolled my eyes playfully, as Gar crossed his arms and sighed at the wistful mention of new jobs. A week ago I had to stick a large sign on the door with the words "employees needed" in bold, red letters. To him, I guessed it had been near a decade.

Mr. Gar explained to you that morning two hours before you had to leave that he was so enormously proud of your accomplishments. The amount of lessons you'd learned in his presence made him happy to have you, to watch you grow. You jokingly said the same for him in regards to my mother.

Three months prior to this moment an important letter arrived in the mail. Your father woke you up on a weekend with tears and a wide, loving smile. You told me you could barely fathom a word he said at 9 am, too intent on sleeping in to make up for lost time during the working week. Apparently it was an acceptance letter from the Earth Assembly of Intergalactic Relations. It was a huge step from being a mere stock boy at a convenience store, but you were invited as an intern anyway, which essentially meant Coffee Boy for the time being.

You said those same words to me sitting on your bed one night. You said the only reason they let you intern was because of your relations to past and current members of Point. You struggled with this for a while, before deciding to forget it for the better.

And a Coffee Boy you were, for most of the year. As far as I can remember from what you'd explained in an email, you recently enrolled in online college on the side. You said you were studying politics, and by your attitude I'd say you'd finally found your calling. Luckily enough, the members of the assembly recognized this and promoted you as a record-keeper. I hope you're getting paid better.

So, an hour before you were leaving on a five-hour trip to the city and your new life, you finally took my hand and walked me off in private. On the other side of your van, facing away from the bodega, you let go and started monologuing.

I started crying immediately. You only smiled because you knew it was coming sometime. I was just like you.

You held me. So tight. And after a while I had to ask myself whether or not I'd be the first one to let go. I had to, or else you'd do it. And I knew the last thing I wanted was for you to be in control of our last moment together.

In your quiet little speech you mentioned to me how much I meant to you as your friend. Not only had I been there for you in the past few years alone, but I'd always been supportive of you since the day we'd met. You told me even if none of it was true, to which I shook my aching head with a smile and denied it, the constant words of encouragement and my naivety to you dumb ramblings made you realize in time that you didn't need to lie to me anymore. No matter what you fed to me, I'd believe it.

It's dumb now knowing my stupidity was part of your growth, but at the same time, it made you honest. You stopped trying so hard around me. Your barriers fell and you brought me in with open arms. Because you needed the support. My support.

Hearing you say that made my heart beat a little too fast.

We laughed for a while about unimportant things. I sobbed still, wiping tears away with a continuous smile because you looked so happy. Too happy for me to be sad, or angry, or whatever other emotions I was feeling then.

In the last few moments you told me you'd be back to visit often, but knowing you that was a blatant lie. You weren't as homely as you came off as. I figured after a few months of pestering and not getting any answers that you had forgotten about me entirely.

After the emotional speech to me alone, the waving, the holding, the crying, the emotional support and love I kept up for you throughout so much of your life I thought you realized there were better things in the world than the plaza and me. I was stupid, but after that realization at midnight on a Tuesday, I couldn't keep myself from going lower than I already was.

Weirdly enough you answered me the morning after, at 10 am, with a novella about your escapades. I think in that moment my wrists hurt more than they ever did. I decided, for you, that I wouldn't try that again.

Over the course of the next few months until now I tried very hard to bury my feelings for you. Considering you were gone on your own life, I was supposed to tutor and train new young employees as the assistant manager and you were busy finding life in the city streets of Neo-Riot. If I'd had been focusing on my own life, I'd realized by then that it isn't anything near what I wanted at nineteen. I needed life. I needed out of this town. I would have never had the courage to discover that back then.

Time went on and your life leveled out. May came and I found myself feeling considerably angry at myself for never falling out of attachment. I blamed it on trying to keep in touch so hard. Your casual tone and mannerisms were easily readable even through emails, and though I knew you were an incredibly different person than how you were the last time I'd seen you, you were still you, and I missed it.

I didn't think you knew that until now.

Today is my birthday. On the table in front of the couch, using the light from the infomercials on tv, I'm writing this into the heaviest journal I've owned in my life. It's my last entry before I need to buy a new one. I guess that makes enough sense, because I get the feeling this won't be the last time I get a surprise visit. Behind me on the couch you sleep on your back, snoring loudly with your arms crossed behind your head. You might be more mature on your own nowadays, but like they say, home is where the heart is.

I think I'm going to write down what you said to me before you fell asleep so I can remember it for later. When you lied back behind me and watched me pull out this notebook you raised your eyebrow. I told you it's a letter I've been writing for a long time. For someone special.

You chuckled. I think you thought it was silly.

"So I was right, you we're keeping secrets from me while I was gone?"

I was quiet for a moment. Holding the journal in my hands, I hummed.

"You think this would make someone like me?" I ask, like a child again.

You sat up to get a good look at the size, fell back down again, and rolled onto your side, head near my shoulder.

"Ko, lets face it, I don't know a thing about how to make someone like you." My stomach churned as you sighed and continued. "But I know one thing; a domino can only make a chain effect if it's near another domino, not if its far away."

Don't be stupid and fall far away from the one you want to love you back. Show the signs, or you'll fuck everything up and it'll be too late."

You then turned on your back again and closed your eyes. Turning around towards my journal again, I sighed.

I wonder if fucking everything up has a domino effect too, because in that case, we're both stupid.

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
